Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Say It Ain't So, Joe!

The following has been lifted from Top Secret UFT files and memos, as well as the ACT site.

District Representative Selection Process Committee Convenes
The Committee to investigate the selection process for District Representatives, established by resolution of the Delegate Assembly on November 8, 2006, met for the first time on March 26, 2007. Considering that it took four months to convene the initial meeting, I don't expect any quick resolution to this important issue. Nonetheless, I will attempt the Herculean task of convincing my fellow committee members that a completely transparent democratic process, where members directly elect their representatives, is in the best interests of the union.

Why Herculean? Consider the makeup of the committee: chaired by President Weingarten (who has been appointing district reps since 2003), members include Secretary/Chief of Staff, Mike Mendel, Senior Assistant to the President, Jeff Zahler, a half dozen district reps, at least one borough representative, one or two other UFT officials, a gentleman from New Action, James Eterno from ICE, and myself, representing the Alliance of Concerned Teachers and the viewpoint of the Unified Teachers Party.

Much as I would like to share the details of the deliberations with my readers, I cannot, since all committee members were asked to keep the proceedings in strictest confidence. But rest assured I will publish a complete report once the committee has completed its mission and the cone of silence is lifted.

25 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gee, sounds like you and James are a bit outnumbered. Want to bet the results have already been decided?

4/25/2007 7:13 PM  
Blogger NYC Educator said...

How is it working under that cone of silence? I've heard talk it's defective.

4/28/2007 9:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not defective; it just has a very loud echo. I know because I'm the person who has to service it. Very expensive though and you thought your dues were being wasted.

4/29/2007 8:40 PM  
Blogger NYC Educator said...

What?

5/01/2007 7:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone could've joined this committee couldn't they?

5/03/2007 6:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure. It's just a coincidence that it's stacked with hard-core Unity folk.

5/03/2007 3:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the person who asked what, I am one of the full time people who service the Cone of Silence. It's a very expesnive piece of machinery paid for fully with member dues. Randi was going to buy a previously owned cone of silence from the super secret spy agency called Control but instead she found the manufacturer and had a custom made brand new Cone of Silence installed at 52 Broadway.

It costs around $500,000 and all UFT committee meetings will soon be held under the Cone so that nothing will leak out to people like Norm.

As a tech teacher and former Control Agent, when I was asked to join Unity I was given the job of servicing the Cone of Silence. It's a great job and yes I will be getting a double pension so eat your heart out you UTP and ICEEs. This is a very important job for our union.

5/03/2007 9:25 PM  
Blogger Son Of Unity said...

Seriously, does ICE even serve a real purpose other than to drive a wedge within our union? Has ICE ever accomplished anything worthy of mention? And no, a sham presidential candidate in the last election, shoddy quality YouTube films, and heckling during the Delegate Assembly doesn't count.

-Son Of Unity, the next generation
I'll be back!

8/07/2007 10:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unity must go! What happened to the UTP?

9/14/2007 5:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Un-Norm-al's Top Ten Randi Conspiracy Theories

10. Randi Recovered a UFO at Roswell
9. Randi Plotted John F. Kennedy’s Assasination
8. Randi is Responsible for Global Warming
7. Princess Diana was Murdered by the Royal Family and Randi
6. Randi Created the Apollo Moon Landing Hoax
5. Pearl Harbor Was Allowed to Happen by Randi
4. Randi Masterminded the Philadelphia Experiment
3. Randi is Responsible for Flouride in Toothpaste
2. Randi Murdered John Lennon
1. HIV was Created by The US Goverment and Randi

********************

SCENE 3: A bathroom in the Waldorf during Teacher Union Day. All of the ICEsickles are sitting in adjacent stalls...

Petey "Bowtie" Lamphere - "Waaaahhhhh, it's not fair, we should be getting the awards."

Jeff "Andy" Kaufman - "It makes me sad to see you cry Petey. Someday soon you will surely win the Cogen Award. By the way, could you pass the toilet paper, it's been nearly a month and I finally took a dump."

Un-Norm-al - "I don't like the toilet paper here, I like the soft fluffy stuff. I bet you Randi gave us this rough stuff on purpose."

"Salad" the Barber - "You know guys, me and the boys can go in there and make sure we all get awards. We'll make them Unity Hacks an offer they can't refuse. Aren't I cool?"

James "E. Turtle" - "I should get an award. I give one on one pension consultations to all of the teachers in my school. Funny thing is, I don't know what a pension really is."

Kip Winger - "Woodhag, why are you using the men's room? I can't go with you in here."

Woodhag - "I'm just one of the ICE guys, we spit on boundaries."

Petey "Bowtie" Lamphere - "I admire you for that. You should have won an award. I'll make you one tonight using popsickle sticks and macaroni."

Un-Norm-al - "This rough stuff is really causing my 'roids to flare. It hurts. We should make a movie about this, it's a conspiracy"

Jeff "Andy" Kaufman - "Can we go to the pub yet? I don't think the people here appreciate my tuxedo t-shirt."

James "E. Turtle" - "Seriously guys, what's a pension?"

Coming soon, Part 4, continuing the bumbling antics of those loveable laughable ICEsickles!

11/05/2007 11:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's Part 4!!!
Fade into the pub. Those huggable ICEsickles are scarfing down chickenwings, it truly is a sight to behold...

James "E. Turtle" - "Guys, I'm still wondering, what's a pension?"

"Kip Winger" - "Anybody have a wetnap? I got sauce on my t-shirt."

"Salad" the Barber - "If any of you guys eat that last chicken wing they'll be hell to pay. I'll call the boys."

"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "A penison is a bad thing created by Randi Weingarten...it gives it's user the chicken pox, causes anorexia, and it promotes irritable bowel syndrome. Trust me, I know."

Petey "Bowtie" Lamphere - "You know what guys, I was just thinking, if I did get some of my building's merit pay, I could buy a lot of new bowties."

Jeff "Andy" Kaufman - "Petey...that's what makes you a TJCtard and not an ICEsickle, we buy t-shirts not ties. You should see my new Megadeath and Iron Maiden shirts...they are cool!"

"Woodhag" - "Where are those tofu chicken wings that I ordered?"

"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "I bet Randi snuck in the back and did something to them."

James "E. Turtle" - "She probably did. You know guys, I was wondering about something important...about these hot wings, you know what they say right? Hot on the way in, hot on the way out."

Jeff "Andy" Kaufman - "Let's be serious for a moment, we have a major problem coming up. What are we going to do about this candle light vigil at Tweed? That's bowling night!"

"Woodhag" - "Not for me, that's the night I work on my compost pile."

"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "Randi probably found out that that was ICE bowling night and she did it on purpose!"

"Salad" the Barber - "She definitely did, there are probably Unity hack spies in the pub right now, we should beat them to a pulp. Violence makes things right! Damn, I'm so ferocious, I'm so cool!"

Petey "Bowtie" Lamphere - "Guys it's almost Thanksgiving, let's be thankful. What are you guys thankful for? I'll start...I'm thankful that I just won that limited edition Pee Wee Herman bowtie on Ebay."

"Salad" the Barber - "I'm thankful for nuclear missles, ninja throwing stars, tasers, nunchucks, beartraps, and samurai swords."
"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "I'm thankful for turkey and stuffing. Randi better not sneak into the kitchen and put raisins in the stuffing this year."

"Woodhag" - "I'm thankful for tofu turkey, electric cars, and just being one of the ICE guys. It's fun to complain."
James "E. Turtle" - "I'm thankful for pensions. At least I think I am."

"Kip Winger" - "I'm thankful for Britney Spear's new album."

11/18/2007 1:03 PM  
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