Our Nation Turns Its Lonely Eyes to The Unified Teachers Party
In light of our current landslide Victory, Max Factor and Snakehead are planning a UTP Victory Party Fundraiser that will finance our run for Presidency in the next election, if Unity hasn’t done away with elections altogether by then.
Max and the Snake together plan to fly solo in the one man UTP bi-plane “The Spirit of Shanker.” The flight will be from NY to Red Square. The flight will be accomplished without the aid of any compass, planning or navigational tool; so their flight will closely mirror the policies of our current union leadership.
Mudgett and Brace, on the other hand, having been notified by NORM that they, in fact, were the only opposition winners, are now headed to 52 Brdwy in the official UTP/Good Year dirigible. They plan to dock in Lakewood, NJ., after which they will take Randi’s limo to arrive at their coronation installation. There they will receive the Zahler-Bloomberg Lactose Intolerant Award for 2007.
It’s a new page in an old book for the UFT. No doubt there are big changes on the horizon that will continue the precedent set by the 2005 contract.
Max and the Snake together plan to fly solo in the one man UTP bi-plane “The Spirit of Shanker.” The flight will be from NY to Red Square. The flight will be accomplished without the aid of any compass, planning or navigational tool; so their flight will closely mirror the policies of our current union leadership.
Mudgett and Brace, on the other hand, having been notified by NORM that they, in fact, were the only opposition winners, are now headed to 52 Brdwy in the official UTP/Good Year dirigible. They plan to dock in Lakewood, NJ., after which they will take Randi’s limo to arrive at their coronation installation. There they will receive the Zahler-Bloomberg Lactose Intolerant Award for 2007.
It’s a new page in an old book for the UFT. No doubt there are big changes on the horizon that will continue the precedent set by the 2005 contract.
posted by A Strong, Proud UTP Member at 4/01/2007 01:13:00 PM
10 Comments:
This is where I come for strength and support at this dark moment when democracy is all but eclipsed by Unity/fascism.
Another typical utp response to a sweeping Unity victory. You ut-people take every opportunity to mock our union leadership even though by winning they have defeated socialism and have stopped the red menace dead in its tracks.
Is the opposition to Unity tyranny finished?
Has this defeat destroyed within us the desire to build a strong and democratic union?
I don't think so.
Unity may have won the war but the battle is far from over.
Brace yourself for the next election!
Thanks UTP- We could all use a good laugh right about now. People can knock you all they want but you never deviate from your goal which is a stronger more democratic union. Keep it up.
Oh, the humanity!
Deviate? NEVER!
Deviates Forever
Perhaps you mean "deviants" forever.
Perhaps not, but it certainly makes for a more colorful comment.
Seriously, does ICE even serve a real purpose other than to drive a wedge within our union? Has ICE ever accomplished anything worthy of mention? And no, a sham presidential candidate in the last election, shoddy quality YouTube films, and heckling during the Delegate Assembly doesn't count.
-Son Of Unity, the next generation
I'll be back!
Un-Norm-al's Top Ten Randi Conspiracy Theories
10. Randi Recovered a UFO at Roswell
9. Randi Plotted John F. Kennedy’s Assasination
8. Randi is Responsible for Global Warming
7. Princess Diana was Murdered by the Royal Family and Randi
6. Randi Created the Apollo Moon Landing Hoax
5. Pearl Harbor Was Allowed to Happen by Randi
4. Randi Masterminded the Philadelphia Experiment
3. Randi is Responsible for Flouride in Toothpaste
2. Randi Murdered John Lennon
1. HIV was Created by The US Goverment and Randi
********************
SCENE 3: A bathroom in the Waldorf during Teacher Union Day. All of the ICEsickles are sitting in adjacent stalls...
Petey "Bowtie" Lamphere - "Waaaahhhhh, it's not fair, we should be getting the awards."
Jeff "Andy" Kaufman - "It makes me sad to see you cry Petey. Someday soon you will surely win the Cogen Award. By the way, could you pass the toilet paper, it's been nearly a month and I finally took a dump."
Un-Norm-al - "I don't like the toilet paper here, I like the soft fluffy stuff. I bet you Randi gave us this rough stuff on purpose."
"Salad" the Barber - "You know guys, me and the boys can go in there and make sure we all get awards. We'll make them Unity Hacks an offer they can't refuse. Aren't I cool?"
James "E. Turtle" - "I should get an award. I give one on one pension consultations to all of the teachers in my school. Funny thing is, I don't know what a pension really is."
Kip Winger - "Woodhag, why are you using the men's room? I can't go with you in here."
Woodhag - "I'm just one of the ICE guys, we spit on boundaries."
Petey "Bowtie" Lamphere - "I admire you for that. You should have won an award. I'll make you one tonight using popsickle sticks and macaroni."
Un-Norm-al - "This rough stuff is really causing my 'roids to flare. It hurts. We should make a movie about this, it's a conspiracy"
Jeff "Andy" Kaufman - "Can we go to the pub yet? I don't think the people here appreciate my tuxedo t-shirt."
James "E. Turtle" - "Seriously guys, what's a pension?"
Coming soon, Part 4, continuing the bumbling antics of those loveable laughable ICEsickles!
Here's Part 4!!!
Fade into the pub. Those huggable ICEsickles are scarfing down chickenwings, it truly is a sight to behold...
James "E. Turtle" - "Guys, I'm still wondering, what's a pension?"
"Kip Winger" - "Anybody have a wetnap? I got sauce on my t-shirt."
"Salad" the Barber - "If any of you guys eat that last chicken wing they'll be hell to pay. I'll call the boys."
"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "A penison is a bad thing created by Randi Weingarten...it gives it's user the chicken pox, causes anorexia, and it promotes irritable bowel syndrome. Trust me, I know."
Petey "Bowtie" Lamphere - "You know what guys, I was just thinking, if I did get some of my building's merit pay, I could buy a lot of new bowties."
Jeff "Andy" Kaufman - "Petey...that's what makes you a TJCtard and not an ICEsickle, we buy t-shirts not ties. You should see my new Megadeath and Iron Maiden shirts...they are cool!"
"Woodhag" - "Where are those tofu chicken wings that I ordered?"
"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "I bet Randi snuck in the back and did something to them."
James "E. Turtle" - "She probably did. You know guys, I was wondering about something important...about these hot wings, you know what they say right? Hot on the way in, hot on the way out."
Jeff "Andy" Kaufman - "Let's be serious for a moment, we have a major problem coming up. What are we going to do about this candle light vigil at Tweed? That's bowling night!"
"Woodhag" - "Not for me, that's the night I work on my compost pile."
"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "Randi probably found out that that was ICE bowling night and she did it on purpose!"
"Salad" the Barber - "She definitely did, there are probably Unity hack spies in the pub right now, we should beat them to a pulp. Violence makes things right! Damn, I'm so ferocious, I'm so cool!"
Petey "Bowtie" Lamphere - "Guys it's almost Thanksgiving, let's be thankful. What are you guys thankful for? I'll start...I'm thankful that I just won that limited edition Pee Wee Herman bowtie on Ebay."
"Salad" the Barber - "I'm thankful for nuclear missles, ninja throwing stars, tasers, nunchucks, beartraps, and samurai swords."
"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "I'm thankful for turkey and stuffing. Randi better not sneak into the kitchen and put raisins in the stuffing this year."
"Woodhag" - "I'm thankful for tofu turkey, electric cars, and just being one of the ICE guys. It's fun to complain."
James "E. Turtle" - "I'm thankful for pensions. At least I think I am."
"Kip Winger" - "I'm thankful for Britney Spear's new album."
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